Can you even begin to imagine asking for your wildest dreams to come true and getting a “yes?” What if I told you that it’s just that easy, and we are missing out because we are too reluctant to ask for more?
Let me tell ya something about my husband. He feels not even the slightest hesitance about asking for the things he wants. Whether a close friend or a complete stranger, Bakari never passes on the opportunity to make his requests known. In fact, simply asking is exactly how he landed his dream job.
I, on the other hand, have never liked the idea of asking anyone for anything. The level of vulnerability that comes with asking makes me completely uncomfortable. Instead, I am all about “making it happen for myself.”
In my mind, I wrongly placed the idea of asking in the same category as being powerless. I was always afraid that someone might perceive me to be looking for a hand-out or being too lazy to put in the work to get what I wanted on my own.
And let’s be real- a major part of my hesitation had to do with ego. I liked the idea of being able to say, ” The odds where against me, I had no help, but I was still driven enough to get it done.”
Face it: no one likes feeling like they are at the mercy of someone else. It makes us squirm to think that someone else might leverage our success against us with the dreaded phrase, “If it wasn’t for me, you would’ve never….”
We all want to be self-made. And we think to ourselves that asking minimizes our glory or makes the accomplishment less than. Or to the contrary we think getting a negative response when we ask will be embarrassing. We sometimes even take it as a sign that we should quit. But we are wrong.
The last few months or so has taught me few valuable lessons that you should grasp along with me:
- The answer will always be “no” if you never ask.
- You have not, because you ask not.
It’s My Bad
Those botched eyebrow experiences, bad relationships, low paying gigs-all the result of my failure to ask. I could’ve asked for the aesthetician that I trusted, but I didn’t ask because I didn’t want to be rude. The relationship was wack because I didn’t say what I wanted for fear of rejection. There was probably money to be had, but I’ll never know because I didn’t want to get a blank stare from my manager that made me feel unworthy.
Honestly, looking back on it, asking wouldn’t have made me powerless. My failure to ask did that. It takes a certain level of boldness and confidence to ask. And that boldness is the difference between people who accomplish extraordinary things versus those who don’t. Sure, you can attempt to do it all on your own. But the truth is that the smartest path to success is asking your way up. We’ll always get subpar outcomes when we are too afraid to bargain for more.
That being said, I’ve been reaching out to resources I never even expected to hear back from. And I’m proud to say that I’m getting a whole lot of yeses these days (major shout out to Hubbs for putting me on game).
Get on the Winning Team
It’s high time for you to go get your yeses too!
Whether you are looking for a mentor, an investor, a promotion, or a partnership opportunity, the best thing you could ever do is ASK.
I’ve shocked myself at how much I’ve asked for the things I’ve wanted lately. And I am even more shocked at the willingness of others to say, “Sure, why not!”
Huge Secret: there is more to success than hard work. A great deal of winning is asking.
Ask and ask again. Be persistent with your ask. Lose the mentality that asking is embarrassing. It is actually an empowering way to get ahead.
Get through the no’s of life by remembering that it only takes one “yes” to turn everything around. Keep asking until you get your “yes.”
If you haven’t guessed it yet, the number one way to get whatever you want is to ask.
The power is in asking…so ask TODAY.
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